I'm not a counselor, credentialed or otherwise nor would I profess to be. I'm a grandmother who was devastated by the death of her born-still granddaughter. All I know is that through this overwhelming grief, somehow . . . someway, I wanted to offer a place where families could go to sense a presence of peace, a place to leave their shattered dreams, a place to begin to heal. By the grace of God and with the help of 57 volunteers, donations from numerous companies, and the cooperation from all walks of faith, the vision grew and became reality. The mantle has been taken up by others across our nation and the idea continues to grow as my involvement fades to the background and life marches on, as it should.
The reason I mention this at all is because like you, the Robin Williams suicide touched my heart. Most of us will never understand the demons he wrestled nor the pain his family endures now.
When death involves a child, there is no way to adequately answer the question, why? It doesn't matter to the parent the age of their child. Their child is still their child. Sometimes, the kindest response to this type of grief is our presence. Words are not necessary beyond, I'm sorry or I don't know what to say. Sharing a precious memory or remembering the child by name may bring (even years later) a shower of tears. These tears are not from their grief but the joy of knowing you remembered. You see, what parents who have lost a child fear most is that their beloved child will be forgotten. Worse, yet, their memory erased.
Death is unexpected, even when a person is terminal. But when death comes to a child or by our own hand, those closest cannot help but say, "I should have seen it coming!"
I cannot begin to process the intense pain and depths of darkness felt by a person living with depression and contemplating suicide. All I can say is don't do it. It's not a solution. There is help. If you and/or your family are living in this kind of turmoil, please reach out . . . hang on, don't give up. Never, ever give up on life.
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
1 (800) 273-TALK (8255)
Jo Ann V. Glim is a seasoned veteran of freelance writing and author of the book "Begotten With Love." To learn more:
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