MANNERS

GENEALOGY - Part V

SOCIETY TOOK ETIQUETTE SERIOUSLY in the 1900s. WHERE ARE WE NOW? After reading the Youth's Educator for Home and Society 1896 by Mrs. Anna R. White and Manners for Women Part One - As A Single Woman by Michelle J. Hoppe, I found a great deal of wisdom that is as pertinent today as it was during the Victorian Era.

It was my intent to find charming and out-dated customs of a generation now long gone and some of the oppressive rules that infringed on the freedoms of young women who "just wanted to have fun" to give us something to smile about.

It's true, rules change as society modernizes. It's no longer necessary for a woman to accept a hand up from a man to mount her horse (except in certain recreational situations); and she can dance with a stranger for more than three dances; but some etiquette rules are common sense and stand the test of time, such as: never walk alone on a street after dark. I admit, I've done it but all it took was one scary incident with a man walking behind me (uncomfortably close and pacing my steps) to make me reconsider my sanity. I know he was convinced I had lost it when I turned on him yelling at the top of my lungs with arms flailing. He literally ran across the street. That was 40 years ago. He may still be running! I laugh now but it was enough for me to change my habits.

Some of the rules of etiquette took physical exercise into account and the affect it would have on the body. Even Great Grandma was "self" conscious. She knew a lady rode side saddle  and alternated sides each day "so as not to develop an overly enhanced buttock on one side." Straddle mount was considered vulgar for a woman.

One rule of etiquette some have kicked to the curb in this day and age is: "A lady never uses vulgarities, flippancy, coarseness, triviality or provocation in speech (and might I add, behavior)." We have taken rudeness and crudeness to a rarefied orbit of coolness in this generation. The next time you're tempted to "twerk," ask yourself if that's something you really want to add to your legacy. 
Personally, I think Grandma's era may have been right when her peers believed "A lady is identified by her behavior."
What do you think . . . does that still hold true in today's society?

Jo Ann V. Glim is a 40 year veteran of  freelance writing and author of the Book "Begotten With Love." To learn more:

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