MANNERS

GENEALOGY - Part V

SOCIETY TOOK ETIQUETTE SERIOUSLY in the 1900s. WHERE ARE WE NOW? After reading the Youth's Educator for Home and Society 1896 by Mrs. Anna R. White and Manners for Women Part One - As A Single Woman by Michelle J. Hoppe, I found a great deal of wisdom that is as pertinent today as it was during the Victorian Era.

It was my intent to find charming and out-dated customs of a generation now long gone and some of the oppressive rules that infringed on the freedoms of young women who "just wanted to have fun" to give us something to smile about.

It's true, rules change as society modernizes. It's no longer necessary for a woman to accept a hand up from a man to mount her horse (except in certain recreational situations); and she can dance with a stranger for more than three dances; but some etiquette rules are common sense and stand the test of time, such as: never walk alone on a street after dark. I admit, I've done it but all it took was one scary incident with a man walking behind me (uncomfortably close and pacing my steps) to make me reconsider my sanity. I know he was convinced I had lost it when I turned on him yelling at the top of my lungs with arms flailing. He literally ran across the street. That was 40 years ago. He may still be running! I laugh now but it was enough for me to change my habits.

Some of the rules of etiquette took physical exercise into account and the affect it would have on the body. Even Great Grandma was "self" conscious. She knew a lady rode side saddle  and alternated sides each day "so as not to develop an overly enhanced buttock on one side." Straddle mount was considered vulgar for a woman.

One rule of etiquette some have kicked to the curb in this day and age is: "A lady never uses vulgarities, flippancy, coarseness, triviality or provocation in speech (and might I add, behavior)." We have taken rudeness and crudeness to a rarefied orbit of coolness in this generation. The next time you're tempted to "twerk," ask yourself if that's something you really want to add to your legacy. 
Personally, I think Grandma's era may have been right when her peers believed "A lady is identified by her behavior."
What do you think . . . does that still hold true in today's society?

Jo Ann V. Glim is a 40 year veteran of  freelance writing and author of the Book "Begotten With Love." To learn more:

FOLLOW/Like: on Facebook or

VISIT: www.BEGOTTENtheBook.com or

BUY ON: Amazon.com/author/joannglim

 

  

THE OCEAN VOYAGE

GENEALOGY   Part III

A few weeks ago, I began sorting through the notes I had gathered during the research phase of the book "Begotten With Love." It was definitely a different time in which our forefathers lived. The challenges and  sacrifices they faced were enormous but face them they did with dignity and resolve.

For my grandmother, coming to America wasn't a matter of want as much as a matter of need.  Her family was poor but proud, industrious, and close-knit. Hedvig was the youngest of eight children. Her father labored as the caretaker of a local church and her mother took in mending.

Three weeks before Hedvig turned seventeen tragedy struck. Her father became ill and died suddenly leaving the family destitute. Within a month, this young woman/child was on a ship to America as an indentured servant. Her story is not unique. Thousands of immigrants sold their very selves for a chance at a better life.

The voyages in those days were wrought with danger. People could die from something as benign as seasickness. Boatloads of passengers were in peril when ships caught fire or broke apart in storms. There was no guarantee of safe passage.

Her mother's burden is unimaginable! Grieving the loss of her husband and saying good-bye to their youngest child knowing she may never return are sacrifices most of us will never experience. Back then, as families said good-bye to their young during this mass movement from Europe, Scandinavia and Great Britain, a tradition (that began in Ireland) took hold. Families gathered for a final party knowing they may never see each other in this lifetime, thus the term Irish Wake.

It is moments like these that I wanted to capture in my writings and I encourage you to do the same. Our ancestor's stories are more than two dates on a tombstone. They are our children's legacy of courage and bravery; hopes and talents and dreams. I believe the stories of our forefathers should continue to live; to guide us . . .teach us . . . and encourage us to be our best.

If you'd like to read an example of how I transformed dreary notes into story form, please visit Amazon.com/author/joannglim for a closer look.  Good luck with your search and writings about your family and heritage.

Jo Ann V. Glim is a 40 year veteran of  freelance writing and author of the eBook "Begotten With Love." To learn more:

FOLLOW/Like: on Facebook or
VISIT: www.BEGOTTENtheBook.com or
BUY ON: Amazon.com/author/joannglim

Writing a Family History

Let's face it, we baby boomers are aging! We're entering a new decade, our seventh, to be exact. This new mantle of age means only this:

1. Our careers are winding down and
2. We now have the time and flexibility to pursue our passions

Many have chosen writing. The increase in Indie Authors bears this theory out. However, not all writers are interested in publishing for the general public. According to #Ancestry.com 128,000 baby boomers are researching family genealogy. Many are compiling their findings into books, along with personal stories and pictures, and giving them away as family keepsakes. What better gift to give than that of legacy?

Earlier this year, Stemma Books LLC, the publisher for "BEGOTTEN: With Love" (my book), polled 1,000 readers who had indicated an interest in memoirs. The results were surprising. We expected to capture a female audience between fifty-five and sixty years of age; had hoped for a younger group of twenty to thirty year-olds (the number of interested young adults surpassed our expectations); and were delighted to include men sixty-five and older.

There is a definite interest in all things family. Here are five suggestions for those new to writing memoirs to make your  story more appealing:

1. Include traits and talents when describing your characters (sorry for calling grandpa a character). The younger generation wants to identify with family whether its by hair/eye color, a gift for music/art, or a fun-loving spirit, to name a few of the many characteristics from which to choose.
2. Talk about the passion the people you're describing had for: God, country and each other. What were the values they held dear? What was their reason for coming to America? How did they make their living? 
3. Include details about the time period in which they lived. What were the latest inventions? What type of entertainment did they have? What type of transportation did they use? Make the story come alive. Allow the reader to be in the moment.
4. Location, location. location is the first lesson in any business book. It should also be included in writing a memoir. For example, did the family live in rural America during the horrendous dust storms of the 1930s that sandblasted paint right off the buildings? Were they living in Chicago in the late 1800s when it was so bitterly cold that they were ripping the wooden roofs off the outhouses to stay warm because of a shortage of wood? Whatever your family's story, share it in detail.
5. Share the history of  heirlooms. Take pictures and include them in the book. Something as simple as grandma's knitting needles passed on to a great-granddaughter may spark an interest in the craft or at least give the young woman an appreciation for the sweaters, scarves and mittens those needles made all those years ago.

If you are overwhelmed by the idea of writing a family history, there are many companies willing to assist. My personal recommendation goes to Nancy and Biff Barnes from #Stories_To_Tell_Books who offered sage advice when BEGOTTEN was still in development. Their passion is working with family historians from inception to completion. I suggest visiting their web site at www.StoriesToTellBooks.com to see what they've done for others and feel free to call 888-577-9342 for further information.

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Jo Ann V. Glim is a forty-year veteran of freelance writing and author of "BEGOTTEN:With Love."  
Visit:  www.BEGOTTENtheBook.com
LIKE/Follow on FaceBook.com/JVGlim.author