WEDDING TRADITIONS

GENEALOGY - Part VI

Have you considered celebrating your wedding in a way that appreciates the long-lived union of generations gone by? Especially, if the marriages have influenced you and your intended?

What started me thinking about this was reading the wedding announcements of my parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles lovingly tucked away as mementos of a special day that described items (beyond clothing and Grandma's string of pearls). 

For example:

• One wedding (held in a private home) had decorated the parlor with flowers from the mother's garden. The mother was a master gardener with the local garden club, so, the article named the variety of flowers.     What if you were to weave some of the same type of flowers into your theme?
• In another, the bride and groom exchanged vows in the evening while standing in front of the home's fireplace. Bee's wax candles in crystal candlestick holders belonging to the bride's grandmother provided the lighting for the ceremony.     What if you found "those candlesticks" and made them part of the celebration?

While reading through these clippings, I realized it's possible to find something that would add beauty and significance to any couple's special day. Even beyond that, it may be the beginning of a new, family tradition. Something more than: 

Something Old

Something New

Something Borrowed

Something Blue

As a matter of fact, brides from the late 1800s and early 1900s pinned a small pouch to their petticoat with the following items inside:

•           A piece of bread so the couple would never go hungry,

•           A piece of cloth so they would never be cold,

•           A piece of wood so they would always have shelter, and

•           A single dollar bill so they would never know poverty.

Michelle J. Hoppe's book "Manners for Women" reminded couples that "love alone should not be a foundation on which to base a marriage, it also takes a thorough acquaintanceship, and a certain knowledge of harmony and temperament before marriage. Mutual trust? There can be no love without it. Man and wife must walk side-by-side on the same path of moral purpose and social usefulness."

This book's excerpt, I believe, is the best tradition of all.

Jo Ann V. Glim is a 40 year veteran of  freelance writing and author of the Book "Begotten With Love." To learn more:

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MANNERS

GENEALOGY - Part V

SOCIETY TOOK ETIQUETTE SERIOUSLY in the 1900s. WHERE ARE WE NOW? After reading the Youth's Educator for Home and Society 1896 by Mrs. Anna R. White and Manners for Women Part One - As A Single Woman by Michelle J. Hoppe, I found a great deal of wisdom that is as pertinent today as it was during the Victorian Era.

It was my intent to find charming and out-dated customs of a generation now long gone and some of the oppressive rules that infringed on the freedoms of young women who "just wanted to have fun" to give us something to smile about.

It's true, rules change as society modernizes. It's no longer necessary for a woman to accept a hand up from a man to mount her horse (except in certain recreational situations); and she can dance with a stranger for more than three dances; but some etiquette rules are common sense and stand the test of time, such as: never walk alone on a street after dark. I admit, I've done it but all it took was one scary incident with a man walking behind me (uncomfortably close and pacing my steps) to make me reconsider my sanity. I know he was convinced I had lost it when I turned on him yelling at the top of my lungs with arms flailing. He literally ran across the street. That was 40 years ago. He may still be running! I laugh now but it was enough for me to change my habits.

Some of the rules of etiquette took physical exercise into account and the affect it would have on the body. Even Great Grandma was "self" conscious. She knew a lady rode side saddle  and alternated sides each day "so as not to develop an overly enhanced buttock on one side." Straddle mount was considered vulgar for a woman.

One rule of etiquette some have kicked to the curb in this day and age is: "A lady never uses vulgarities, flippancy, coarseness, triviality or provocation in speech (and might I add, behavior)." We have taken rudeness and crudeness to a rarefied orbit of coolness in this generation. The next time you're tempted to "twerk," ask yourself if that's something you really want to add to your legacy. 
Personally, I think Grandma's era may have been right when her peers believed "A lady is identified by her behavior."
What do you think . . . does that still hold true in today's society?

Jo Ann V. Glim is a 40 year veteran of  freelance writing and author of the Book "Begotten With Love." To learn more:

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TABLETS, MAGNETS & HEALTH ALERTS

One of the most popular forms of electronics on the market today is the Tablet. It doesn't matter if it's the Samsung Galaxy series, the Apple iPad  or the Microsoft Pro. They are all versatile, light, compact, powerful, and portable with amazing screen resolution. As a professional writer and passionate photographer, the Tablet was on my short list of "next" purchases. It may be on yours as well but read on before you buy.

Because my camera's battery charger was damaged on a recent trip to Europe, I made the decision to buy a Tablet sooner than later. I was in love with my choice and wanting to take good care of my new equipment, read the owner's manual up to page 52 where it said - WARNING . . . (I'm now paraphrasing because I returned it before copying the exact verbiage but it went something like this): WARNING: If you wear a pacemaker or other such medical device, check with your cardiologist before using. Nowadays, legalese cautions are affixed everywhere; to the point that most of us gloss over the jargon. This one struck me as more serious and for the sake of full disclosure as a "pacer girl," the question became, why?

David Needle (May 10, 2013) iPad Magnets Can Interfere with Pacemakers, but . . . traced the origin to a 14-year-old student from Stockton, California, Gianna Chien, who (with the help of her cardiologist father), did a study of the effects on implantable cardiac devices (ICD) as part of a school science project. Her findings showed that if the Tablets are held close to the chest, it will indeed interfere with the ICDs.

Statistics indicate approximately six million people world-wide wear pacemakers and 100,000 US citizens (600,000 world-wide) join the club every year. Pacemakers are used to regulate the heart rate and control abnormal heart rhythms. Some patients have an added benefit of a pulse generator which offers an electrical charge if the heart goes into a thready fibrillation. These are 3" life-saving devices that allow people to live normal, productive lives. Some writers will try to convince you the recipients are older and very frail. As a member of the "pacer" club, I can say with some authority, the people I know who are pacer mates are active and fully participating even though many of them are in their seventies.

What is causing all this fuss? The culprit is the internal magnets used along the Tablet's left edge; on the right side of the front of the glass; and in the protective covers used to sheath the devices.

Vidya Harrysingh, a St. Jude Medical Tech Services representative, explained the concern the medical community has regarding the use of Tablets which is echoed by the American Heart Association. "It's possible for people using their Tablet as an eBook reader to fall asleep with the Tablet resting on their chest. For some pacemaker patients this can raise their heart rate from 60 to 90 beats per minute. For those depending on a pulse generator, the necessary message from ICD to heart may be inhibited causing a potentially serious situation. Another scenario is this: you're on vacation waiting to take a picture with your Tablet. Most people hold their Tablet next to their chest as they wait."

The two suggestions from the electronic industry (buried in their owner's manuals) are: 1) Maintain at least 6" of separation from the Tablet to the chest; and 2) discuss with your cardiologist prior to purchasing this product. Wise words but shouldn't that be stated somewhere (like the outside of the merchandise box) rather than page 52 of the owner's manual?

Jo Ann V. Glim is a 40 year veteran of  freelance writing and author of the Book "Begotten With Love." To learn more:

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VISIT: www.BEGOTTENtheBook.com or
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MAKING THAT FIRST CONTACT

I had the opportunity to chat with CL Gammon about "Begotten With Love" on his blog talk radio program this morning. If you'd like to listen to the half hour show just click on the following link:  CL Gammon Program. CL is very charming and made me feel comfortable throughout the interview. Thank you CL for a fun half hour.

One of the questions he asked: ". . . were family members receptive?"  My experience has always been very positive. I treasure my newly found cousins and am grateful for all they've shared. It's been fun to discover personal traits we share; enjoy a poignant moment walking the path of our shared ancestors; and visiting old homesteads and cemeteries together.

If you've not yet contacted anyone my suggestions would be:

• Write a note explaining who you are and how you think you may be related (you'll be surprised how often you may receive a response) especially if you include a picture they may recognize.
• Share a story about your side of the family . . . one they may have heard and see if they may embellish it. You know how stories have a tendency to grow. My cousin could start a round of laughter when he talked about his donkey, Blue Creek Bill.
• Grandma's recipe box may open doors (and mouths) especially if you bake a batch of her favorite cookies to share.

It seems the kitchen table is still the heart of the home and the point of connecting with family is to build on relationships. Happy hunting. 

Jo Ann V. Glim is a 40 year veteran of  freelance writing and author of the eBook "Begotten With Love." To learn more:

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FINDING CLUES to the PAST

GENEALOGY    Part IV

Some men and women risked it all for the romance of a high-seas adventure. Steamship companies circulated pamphlets promising riches in the land where "streets were paved with gold." It was a heady time at the beginning of the nineteenth century, fueled by poverty and pestilence in the old country and promises of plenty in a place seen by few.

The older generation worried, not only for the safety of their children who were so far away from loved ones but for the future of the homestead their children left behind. Even if they asked themselves the obvious questions of Who would tend the fields and feed the flocks? or How would the parent's survive in their dotage? they wanted what was best for their children and were willing to sacrifice to make it happen.

There are two stories that did not make the pages of "Begotten With Love," only because they were found after the book was published. The first story was one conveyed to me by a cousin shortly before her death. She had been looking through a box of old papers stored in her attic when she happened upon this gem (circa 1894):

• Archie was determined to go to America. He arrived on her shores with a handwritten note attached to the lapel of his coat asking anyone to please help him get to the home of his son in Alabama. Archie, who had just turned 80 years old, had traveled thousands of miles by himself even though he had never learned to read. 

The other story came from Sweden.




Anna loved all eight of her children. They were the joy of her world. It was difficult to say good-bye not once but five times as all but three sought their fame and fortune far from home. She was a woman of deep faith and prayed for the best. I was privileged to read a poem my cousin found tucked in the pages of our great grandmother's recipe book. This poem, published in the latter part of the 19th century in Sweden conveyed the hearts of many parents of that era who were left behind.

MEMORIES

For the Swedish American

By:

Johan Erik Rosenberg

Along the slopes of the mountain

Grow some juniper bushes

And an oak with beautiful leaves.

Otherwise, the greenery is sparse,

Only a few old stumps from the ancestral trees remain.

From the midst of the rock's many crevices

Sounds the awful screech of an owl

In the dark of an October night,

And in the narrow valley below,

The old bridge sighs as the evening winds

Whistle through a carpet of leaves.

Seldom has a foot walked these forgotten stables from long time gone,

Where all the district's youth gathered for fun and entertainment,

On a peaceful summer evening.

Out here, I often walk, slowly.

I tire quickly for I am old.

Yet, I come here in solitude to

Recall the past. Happy moments that

Brought us all together

And I enjoy what no one else remembers.

* * * * *

I hope you blow away the dust on an attic treasure and find notes like these that inspire you to write . . . not just dates about the characters but about their life's adventures. Their legacy is your heritage. Enjoy!

Jo Ann V. Glim is a 40 year veteran of  freelance writing and author of the eBook "Begotten With Love." To learn more:

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THE OCEAN VOYAGE

GENEALOGY   Part III

A few weeks ago, I began sorting through the notes I had gathered during the research phase of the book "Begotten With Love." It was definitely a different time in which our forefathers lived. The challenges and  sacrifices they faced were enormous but face them they did with dignity and resolve.

For my grandmother, coming to America wasn't a matter of want as much as a matter of need.  Her family was poor but proud, industrious, and close-knit. Hedvig was the youngest of eight children. Her father labored as the caretaker of a local church and her mother took in mending.

Three weeks before Hedvig turned seventeen tragedy struck. Her father became ill and died suddenly leaving the family destitute. Within a month, this young woman/child was on a ship to America as an indentured servant. Her story is not unique. Thousands of immigrants sold their very selves for a chance at a better life.

The voyages in those days were wrought with danger. People could die from something as benign as seasickness. Boatloads of passengers were in peril when ships caught fire or broke apart in storms. There was no guarantee of safe passage.

Her mother's burden is unimaginable! Grieving the loss of her husband and saying good-bye to their youngest child knowing she may never return are sacrifices most of us will never experience. Back then, as families said good-bye to their young during this mass movement from Europe, Scandinavia and Great Britain, a tradition (that began in Ireland) took hold. Families gathered for a final party knowing they may never see each other in this lifetime, thus the term Irish Wake.

It is moments like these that I wanted to capture in my writings and I encourage you to do the same. Our ancestor's stories are more than two dates on a tombstone. They are our children's legacy of courage and bravery; hopes and talents and dreams. I believe the stories of our forefathers should continue to live; to guide us . . .teach us . . . and encourage us to be our best.

If you'd like to read an example of how I transformed dreary notes into story form, please visit Amazon.com/author/joannglim for a closer look.  Good luck with your search and writings about your family and heritage.

Jo Ann V. Glim is a 40 year veteran of  freelance writing and author of the eBook "Begotten With Love." To learn more:

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INDENTURED SERVITUDE

GENEALOGY - Part II

"The United States is a beacon of hope and symbol of freedom for those wishing to join the American experiment."

This mind set was never more true than in the late 1800s and early 1900s when millions of immigrants came to our shores from Europe, Great Britain, and Scandinavia. Some were searching for a better life even if it meant selling themselves into indentured servitude. Time has a way of erasing or eroding history and now when our youth speaks of great Grandma or Grandpa "working" for a wealthy family, they have no clue what that really meant. 

There  was a special group of immigrants, mostly young women, with minimal education but exemplary housekeeping skills who were eagerly sought for employment. Lucky were those who could take advantage of a three-year program in places like The Practical Household School in Stockholm or a similar school established in London or Brooklyn, New York. It was a way to introduce young women (14 to 25 years of age) to the manners and conscripts of their new employment in America. Families with means recruited household staff through these institutions and those they employed enjoyed a certain prestige.

Those who did not have the advantages of training were at the mercy of their employer. Most were kind and honorable but some created harsh working conditions and made demands they knew would put these young, naive girls into debt. You see, if they were unable to fulfill their commitment they could be forced to work for free until the debt was paid in full or be deported.

The terms of employment were strict. A five-year contract of service was signed for the following necessities:  passage to America, Room and Board, and a stipend for personal needs. Five years was not an arbitrary number but one that coincided with the government's requirement of a five-year residency before petitioning for naturalization. Citizenship . . . the dream.

It's with great pleasure that I present this 10 Part series on Immigration at the turn of the 19th century. I hope you find it informative and that it leads you on great adventures as you search for your family. 

Jo Ann V. Glim is a 40 year veteran of  freelance writing and author of the newly released eBook "Begotten With Love." To learn more:

FOLLOW/Like: on Facebook or
VISIT: www.BEGOTTENtheBook.com
BUY ON: Amazon.com/author/joannglim